Watching her grow up on camera has made it hard to separate "real Selena" from "TV Selena." The TV version whom you see on Wizards of Waverly Place is full of sweet enthusiasm that could work only on the Disney Channel. But the actual Selena is smart beyond her years — wisdom she gained from seeing her family live paycheck to paycheck before she got her first money-making job and from watching her parents go through a painful divorce. She even learned a few advanced love lessons after dating (and getting dumped by) rock star Nick Jonas, someone she refuses to dis despite the fact that it can't be easy to see him publicly flirting with his ex (and her close friend) Miley Cyrus. Instead, she is working on her first album and is linked to one of Hollywood's hottest actors, Twilight's Taylor Lautner. She talked to Seventeen about how she got lost in love but found true happiness and strength when she came out on the other side.
17: What's up with you and Taylor Lautner?
Selena Gomez: We met in Vancouver. [Taylor was shooting New Moon, and Selena was shooting Ramona and Beezus.] Kristen [Stewart] was staying in my hotel. He would visit her, so we were constantly running into each other in the lobby — and we ended up meeting. We would go out to lunch and dinner, but I knew he had paparazzi following him, and I had paparazzi following me. So we literally just wanted to hang out, go bowling and stuff, and it went a little too far, I think. People were getting a little crazy about us. But it was fun — I went to Vancouver thinking I was going to focus on my work, but instead I got to meet him, and it ended up being the best thing ever.
17: What's he like?
SG: He is so sweet. Taylor has made me so happy. I didn't know I could be that happy. You probably see it in the pictures! I'm like smiling so big.
17: So are you guys dating?
SG: He's a great guy. But I'm 100 percent single, and I'm going to keep it that way for a while.
17: Didn't you once say that you didn't want to date actors anymore?
SG: I did say that. I've also said that I wouldn't date rock stars. I've said a lot of things: I've said I'm never going to date someone in the business, and that I'm never going to date someone outside the business. And that's when I wrote my MySpace blog about people my age sometimes being hypocritical. What I meant was that I'm going to say a lot of things now that I'm sure two years or even a year from now I'm not going to keep to. Of course, my passion for God and my family won't change, so hopefully I won't change who I am. But I can't say that I'll never date an actor.
17: How many boyfriends have you had?
SG: Probably three. One when I was 13, one when I was 14, and one was at 16. One of them was my first love.
17: Have you done most of the heartbreaking or has your heart been broken?
SG: I broke up with someone once, but I've been broken up with twice.
17: How did that feel?
SG: It was the most horrible feeling in the entire world. And I would never wish that upon anyone. And I guess you have to go through that, but it's so hard. I really didn't know it was possible to hurt that way.
17: What did he do?
SG: Well, he broke my heart. And he knows exactly why. He knows exactly what he did. I didn't do anything, that's all I'm saying!
17: How did you move on?
SG: I don't like the whole off-and-on thing. I don't like "taking a break." Either you're with me or you're not. And that's how I kind of deal.
17: That's a pretty good rule. Have you ever changed yourself for a guy you liked?
SG: Oh yeah, that happened to me. And I wasn't myself for a year. I think that was really damaging. I felt like it was me always trying to be perfect for him.
17: Perfect in what way?
SG: I always dressed nice. I don't think he ever saw me in sweatpants. I love sweatpants! I own so many! I always tried to be well-dressed and well-mannered, and I always tried to please everyone around him. And I'd always go to his places and his favorite restaurants or whatever. And there was a point where I kind of lost myself completely. I didn't smile as much, I didn't laugh as much, I wasn't a goofball, I didn't get up and dance like I usually do. And when that one ended, it was just horrible. Because I didn't know where I was. But I got that back, and I was really happy — and my family was happy to have me back!
17: Did anyone say, "Hey, are you okay? You're not acting like yourself"?
SG: Everyone around me hated him. Except maybe one person, who thinks he is an idiot now. Everyone on set, family, friends, didn't like it. But even with everyone sitting me down, telling me it was horrible, I didn't listen to them. I think a girl has to go through that, because now I'm the strongest I've ever been. I dare someone to try to change me again. I've gotten so strong about that. It would never happen.
17: How did he have that kind of power over you?
SG: I think love is blind. You don't see it, you don't hear what people are saying, or what you're saying. You don't see what you're doing. All you see is the person in front of you. That's it.
17: Where did you find so much strength?
SG: I found strength in what hurt me. And in my family — that's my strength as well. I'm truly grateful to be hurt as many times as I have, because I'm happy!
17: Do you have a friend you go to for love advice?
SG: Every single problem I ever have is healable by Taylor Swift! If I ever I have an issue, Taylor has gone through it, because she's older than me, and she gives the most thought-out answers. And what I love about Taylor is that she does believe in the whole love story and Prince Charming and soul mates. Because of her, I haven't lost faith. We literally talk every day.
17: Did she come to you for advice when she was going through her breakup with Joe Jonas?
SG: Oh yeah. When she was going through a hard time, we would make each other playlists. And I would send her some girl-empowering music, and she would send some back. We had "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, of course; we had to have that as number one. We had "Battle" by Colbie Caillat, "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson — Kelly has good breakup songs! "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry. We just sat there and made so many. And every time we would be together, we'd sit there and jam out to it too.
17: Taylor has no problems talking about her exes in public — but you seem to be really hesitant to say anything at all about your relationships. Why is that?
SG: I've always loved that about Taylor — I love how open she is. But I think when you have something so precious with someone, the whole world doesn't need to know about it. I don't ever talk about who I'm with or was with unless I have amazing things to say. I want my fans to know everything, but I want there to be a little mystery left too.
17: You were fighting with Miley Cyrus last year. How did you two work it out?
SG: For me personally, I try to take the high road. I try to not really say anything, and it kind of works itself out. It's typical teenage-drama stuff. Eventually you sort of realize your friends are the only ones you really have — so why are we doing this?
17: You have a lot of famous friends — Demi Lovato, Taylor, Miley. Do you ever get jealous of each other?
SG: It's not normal for me to feel jealous. I'm competitive with myself more than anything. And anyway, all of my friends in the business are bigger than me! Most of them are musicians, and I think music takes them to a whole new level. For me, I'm going to try out music, but it will be more fun than anything else. I'm really trying my hardest to become a well-respected actress. All I really want to do is movie after movie after movie. I love acting, and I want to create that so I can be around for a long time.
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